I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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