Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
