Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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