I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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