I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
