Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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