You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
