It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
