If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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