"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
