i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
In America we eat man semen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
