I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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