Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
