i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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