I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
