i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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