wat bout pragnant strippers??
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
