i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
