Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
