I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
