two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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