carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
