allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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