I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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