That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
