Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
