I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
