He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
