Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
