Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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