Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
