It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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