yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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