sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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