I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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