soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
