Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
