Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
