Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
