omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
