Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
