actually, I'm a sock model
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
