ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
