Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
