do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
