doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
