Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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