this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
