Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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