So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
